becco - 11-25 crossley street melbourne 3000 9663 3000

riding high on the expectation of an experience that only a two-hat restaurant can deliver, we didn't see the low hanging branch that clotheslined us within the first minute. barstaff that couldn't give a fuck, and couldn't pour a decent g&t anyway, waitstaff who were there in theory, but try ordering something and they may as well have been at home in front of the telly.

the place is frequented by the owners' mates and their loud partners, who treat the place like their laundry, flinging male underwear across our table. it became increasingly obvious how this place secured its two hats, the only people receiving the kind of service worthy of two hats were chums with the owners and knew the waiters by name.

it took 15 minutes to get the first drink, and the second one never arrived. when the waiters had decided that you were ready to order, they came at you like a freight train, not exactly following the traditional 'there when you need them, invisible when you do not'. subtlety is just not in their vocabulary.

i can't even remember what the food was like, it was thrown in front of us and then whisked away while we were still chewing the last mouthful. we were so pissed off that we skipped coffee and dessert. didn't leave any tip, either. so it was around the corner to pellegrini's for really good coffee, yummy cake and friendly italians. well, they were friendly until the owner's mama decided it was time for him to be in bed and kicked us out.

becco sucks, if you're not married to the owner's sister's dog, don't go there. you'll get better service at mcdonalds and at least you'll remember what you ate. produce, restaurant, bar and lousy waiters.