trotters charcuterie - 400 lygon st carlton 3053 9347 5657

where am i? i'm in rome. i'm in egypt. i'm on the suez canal 1938. no, just trotters on lygon street. not quite the same impact but we have gone back in time to when tea was tuppence a bag and butter was sold in dishcloth (i'm not going to say muslin) by a big sweaty man who smelled of cheese. what is a charcuterie anyway. the dictionary says:

charcuterie n : a delicatessen that specializes in meats

hmmm. it sounds like a surgical procedure performed in the middle ages that relieves pigs (or people) of their desire to make love. let's move on. they play good music. we got the kitchen table to ourselves. feeling really special we decided that wine was the order of the day. rule one - never order from a wine menu where all the wine is offered as a glass as well as a bottle. that said, very friendly and it's really quite cheap here. we're here how, in fact. backs to the wall so they can't look over our shoulder. if you want to eat in lygon street but don't want the lygon street italian experience stuffed into all orifices, this is a good place. people come here to eat, godammit, not pose with their ferraris out front. we're looking forward to some good food. excuse us. ok, back now. this is a lone-diner-friendly place. if you're eating alone, you won't be. the problem with this place is, well, the food. it's not that good. they make it sound good, but it's not. if you're eating in a place where the burger is bigger than your face, warning. look, if you're a single diner with no money and no high ideals of fine dining, this is the place for you. and if you are anyone else, forget dinner and come here for breakfast. it rocks.