nihonbashi zen - 87 little bourke street melbourne 3000 9639 7050

like ditching your girlfriend for the big tits and tight ass at the bar who's had just about enough drink to take you home and shag you within an inch of your life, we stood kunis up when a nihonbashi zen showed us its cleavage.

nihonbashi zen - we're going to call it nb because the name is too fucking long - is a small basement-level japanese restaurant on little bourke street. the menu is at the bottom of the steps so you have to go down to see what she was offering in the way of something to eat (read that last bit again). the menu is written in japanese and bad english. the way we see it, we were there for the food (and the asahi beers and sake), not an english lesson.

the food was that good - we've no idea how one small female managed 18 gyoza (pork dumplings) washed down with large amounts of beer and sake. picture a scene in which sally meets a plate of japanese food instead of harry. harry doesn't get as much attention as the food got but we got all the sound effects anyway.

watch out for the eggplant. it's three small pieces of eggplant on toothpicks. the scallops can go and get fucked, too. everything else rocked. and all up less than $50 each including beer and sake. they're open every day except sunday for lunch as well as dinner. give nb's a go - you won't be sorry.