fairways - 55 golf house la lancefield 3435 5429 1903

everyone in the macedon hospitality industry showers at the same time. how do we know this? we called most of them in search of a restaurant that was open on a friday night and got them out of the shower. the water pressure sure must take a beating around 6.45pm. they were all getting ready to go out to dinner when they should have been in their restaurants serving us, godammit. it was the turn of champions restaurant at fairways to host the local restaurant industry tonight so we, by default, were eating at fairways, like it or not. despite telstra's best efforts to misdirect us and send us to beaconsfield sportswear, we finally got through to lynne (just getting out of the shower) and informed her that we'd like a table in three minutes. she asked us to drive slowly so that she could finish her shower and make herself decent.

menu (n); a list of dishes to be served or available in restaurant. this definition is flagrantly ignored with her set menu. no arguments here as it succeeds in circumventing our tendencies for indecision when presented with a choice. enough of playing with ourselves. olive paste appetisers washed down with cope williams brut (bubbly to you philistines), garlic and tarragon soup, sheep's cheese on tomato oil and veal with veggies. we could have had the cheese plate but we jumped straight to chocolate cake and basil ice cream - didn't quite know if the ice cream was supposed to be basil flavoured (r&d department should be shot), branded as basil ice cream (marketing need a kick up the arse), or whether we scoffed basil's ice cream (his parent need a good seeing to with a rubber hose). basil is not going to be happy with the last one.

set menu, set price, no attitude. we forgive lynne for being in the shower when we wanted to eat. food was yum. you can stay here too in one of the themed rooms - upstairs if you're over 6 foot tall as the fan is likely to decapitate. avoid the pumpkin room, some bad drugs when they thought this one up. signature and the upstairs rooms rock.

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