home - 601 burwood road hawthorn 3122 9819 5555

the last time we visited home it was called siblings and it was in the hands of the loud (and assumedly deaf) mark - we were intrigued.

home. dining room. old books. stuffed toys. a rocking chair. it was like going to granny's place for dinner. except that granny had died the day before and while most of her stuff (mostly the privates and the unmentionables) had been quickly shoved into the skip out  back, bits and pieces remained. it gave home a homey feel, a lived-in atmosphere, an inviting and reassuring air about it. we were here to investigate.

two things seem to score a restaurant above the line (powederfinger, paramore, gorillaz) or below the line (barry manilow, jason donovan, andrew lloyd webber). well three if you count the wine list but by now we expect a good wine list so it's not something that is used to actually rate an eatery.

the first is the bread. i've said it before (and apparently i need to keep saying it), the sign of a good restaurant is in the effort it takes to call up a good bread suppliers and have them bake and deliver good bread on the same day. yeah, i know. not hard really. but, you know, it shows a certain effort and attention to detail that usually flows through to all aspects of the business. bad bread = we don't care about the details.

of course, the restaurants who excel are the ones who bake bread every day themselves but they are in a class of their own.

the second measure is a new one. paper table cloths that you can write on. so much fun! you can draw a cat taking a dump or a fairy taking a dump over a nice glass of merlot or indeed dessert. you should try it. i suspect all the little creatures we drew taking a dump were the result of quite a fine merlot. you don't have to draw anything taking a dump if you don't want to.

on measure number 1, home is struggling. we had to point out that the bread was almost fossilised before we got a 'yeah, we know, we're not happy with our supplier'. ah, ok, here's an idea. take it off the fucking menu or at least warn us! or better yet, sort it out. bread is bad one day, warning on day two, you're out on day three! why would you persist in 'not being happy' instead of fixing the issue? maximum elapsed time - three days.

we did get our paper table cloth so we're very happy about that. overall, however, the cute menus in kids books, very delicious steak and fish, delectable chocolaty desserts (our waitress was the devil - pure and simple), we did enjoy our evening at home (the restaurant not at...oh, keep up, will you?!). they took the dry bread off the bill, the only response that they could manage, so i will be back. and it better be fixed or i will have a follow-up to write.