• Thu 10 Dec 2009

the deanery - 13 bligh place melbourne 3000 9629 3000

it's not like you're likely to wander past the deanery one day and think 'that place looks nice, i'll drop in for some tea and scones'. bligh place is basically an gap between two building masquerading as an alley pretending to be a lane. it is small and unless you're looking for it, you're unlikely to see the deanery. but when you do find it, well, bring an empty stomach (try not to eat for a few days) and your biggest flashiest credit card. jeeves can stay in the car, though.

i'm not a stranger to good food and being required to part with hard-earned cash to get it. in general these two often go hand-in-hand and in the case of the deanery, double for both. don't go there with the idea that you can just order a couple of starters so you have enough money for bus fare to get home. expect three digits for 2 people and a substantial number if you decide to get stuck into the grog. oh, i'm sorry, they don't have grog at the deanery. it's all fine wine and port. my mistake.

this is one of those places where you will constantly be surprised at the menu. the head chef does a degustation menu with wine accompaniments - absolutely awesome. if you decide that you want to get stuck into a good steak or some fish, they have that, too. you might find yourself guarding your plate from fellow diners. 'oh, how is the fish. it looks great. so fresh and zesty (subtitle: give me some)' to which 'no, get fucked, this is mine' is a most apt reply.

the deanery is also well known for its substantial wine store. i could have a lot of fun in there if they just left the door unlocked for a bit. you can store your own personal wines or choose from the restaurant wine list. again, did i mention bring your credit card or perhaps a couple of cards?

it's not your everyday restaurant as in you wouldn't want to go there every day. it's an event restaurant - i got a promotion today, i have a corporate credit card and can spend up to a grand tonight, it's my birthday and i can fucking spend whatever i cant, etc. save it for a special occasion and savour it. chew your food slowly.

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