liquid bar cafe lounge - 50 new quay promenade docklands 3008 9642 4242

there must be a rip in the space-time continuum somewhere behind the doors to the kitchen - it cannot take that long to make anything. and when the food does eventually emerge tortoise like from the kitchen there isn't all that much of it anyway, unless you're talking about the toast. you couldn't call it a slice, it goes way beyond a single piece, even a slab is selling the size of this thing a bit short. landmass might come close... each one is about the size of tasmania, with a couple of tiny eggs perched on top and some green garnish, a sort of easter island homage at breakfast. and the coffee isn't really flash.

if you're going to call yourself a cafe or a restaurant and you're going to serve breakfast, you need to learn how to make good coffee. surely when you get the machine there's a manual somewhere that tells you how it works? a quick guide? a pop-up book? melbournians are spoilt and we get pouty if we don't get good coffee. sydneysiders haven't a clue, fuck you.

but you really can't stay angry at liquid for long. it's adorable, with its white decor, stylish but really uncomfortable lounges, and a brilliant vista of the docks to gaze out upon. just don't go there if you're hungry or thirsty or you want coffee or service. yep, that about does it.