troika - 106 little lonsdale st melbourne 3000 9663 0221

if you rocked up to troika bollock naked, no-one would give a shit. it's that kind of place. it's not big, it's not very comfortable. it's in a shitty lane in the centre of melbourne. not much going for it really on the outside, apart from the sign that looks like they stole it from an optometrist's. makes you want to hold your hand over one eye to read it. inside, it's a different story. good music and good drinks. we had our first long island iced tea together there. it was very special moment for me - it brought tears to my eyes. at 40 bucks for two drinks, it'd bring tears to anyone's eyes. i've never tried the food at troika. i'm usually well fed before i get there. i just need some watering.

troika is open pretty late too which is always a good thing. they don't compete with melbourne supper club but then arseholes don't smoke cigars there either. a suspect that wacky tabacky might be more troika's style. you can just kick back, enjoy a few brewskies or g&ts and not have to scream your lungs out to be heard. did i mention that the music is funky. the music is funky. the tables are funky too, all laminex and plastic and 1950s suburbia. the people aren't funky, exactly, more like...scary and weird. but they are fun to watch and they get funnier after the second long island iced tea.

might see you there sometime...we'll be there sometime.