the saint - 54 fitzroy st st kilda 3182 9593 8333

this is a cool place. literally, they seem to be able to open so many doors and windows that it is an architectural feat that the roof doesn't cave in and flatten all the beautiful people. sorry, i meant to say it's a shame it doesn't flatten the assholes. collateral damage i'm willing to put up with.

the place is has a bit of jekyll and hyde about it. doctor jekyll is on a weeknight or during the day on a weekend when you can park yourself at one of the massive wooden benches inside or lounge in the beer garden and scoff yourself stupid on the moreish pizzas (it's more a question of 'ok, one more pizza' rather than 'just one more slice'...).

mr hyde comes out on a friday and saturday night and he is truly terrible and ugly with his herd of semi-dressed tarts laughing at the tops of their voices and his gang of muscled morons trying to drink more than their bodyweight. they fill this place to bursting point to which the management responds by placing a little red rope stretched between golden poles outside and policing the entrance by two blunt instruments who's entire interview consisted of 'can you push the counter button?'

there is a secret area behind the bar that you must need some sort of password to access, i don't know what else that password gets you but i haven't been in to find out. frankly it scares the shit out of me. but the now-disused bank vault is neatly decked out with cushions - if you're stupid enough to sit in a bank vault with a five-inch thick door.

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