suede - 284 smith st collingwood 3066 9417 1860

it's friday night, we've put up with lots of crap from stupid sue and dopey neil this week, and we're just bloody hungry. this place had been recommended, but a street kiosk with a decent supply of choc wedges would have filled the hole. we couldn't find a kiosk, so we wandered into suede instead.

they do food big: a massive bowl of lentils (fibre city) came with rice and pita, and the piece of dead cow was only missing the horns and hooves. drank big g&t's, and lots of them so our recollection of events would not be admissible in a court of law. there were about a million blonde chicks in party skirts. ok, maybe not a million but that's the g&t effect. several hundred thousand, maybe. they kept reproducing like rabbits or cloned sheep. (although sheep in skirts doesn't do it for me. new zealanders, take note). there was some sort of party where you had to be blonde, crap on inanely and at high volume.

another thing that is maybe a signature of suede is the guy with two girls phenomenon. pretty much every couple that came in was a triple. in the words of tank girl - feeling a little inadequate? i began to feel that there was something wrong with the two of us until i remembered that we were in smith street and surrounded by freaks. it's them, not us. but i like freaks. they make the world interesting.

suede is cool. end.