as good as movida in melbourne (yeah, never thought i’d say that), is movida sydney. same menu, same service, same ambiance. of course, we brought a bit of our own ambiance with us – i’m sure we pissed a number of people off with our kissing and touching but, well, screw you all.
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i will literally kill for their delicious pork ribs. yes, yes, i know we should all be vegetarian because meat wastes too many resources that we don’t have, future generations, think of the children… but. pork ribs. pork. ribs. well, that’s all i got, really. why am i banging on about pork ribs? newmarket has them. slow cooked, in spicy sauce. where’s my gun?
and if pork ribs (seeing pending killing spree note warning above) were not enough, how about a slow roasted leg of lamb? or some spicy sliced chorizo with peppers? or fresh quesadillas? how about them indeed?! took about 15 minutes flat to polish the lot off. curse their deliciousnessess!
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tucked away, down a side street, in an old bluestone building (used to house a blacksmith) is parkers. i could smell it two streets away and i should have known. steak was calling me. i’m not a big meat eater but when i do eat meat, i has to be very good. imagine my surprise at discovering parkers in geelong. then i saw the sign outside – squires loft. i was home!! in the culinary wasteland that is geelong, there exists a diamond.
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there’s another squires loft, you ask? indeed! the same steaky-steak, winey-wine, and choclatly-chocolate dessert. anyone who’s read my review of squires loft (pick one, any one) knows that, once in a while, i like a piece of very excellent steak. i know meat is not the best for the environment but i only have meat twice a week so i have thoroughly justified it to myself.
and then i moved to within walking distance of the tooronga squires loft. feet …turning …into …squires …loft …powerless… to …resist! and it’s on the podium level – i’ve done some podium level dancing but this is different
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on the bouffe? at the bouffe? riding the bouffe? what ees zis bouffe yoo speek ov? just a minute, i’m going to check my high school french-english dictionary…please hold. ahhhhh, it means nosh, eats, grub. chow. and i like it very much. Continue reading
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when you don’t have the network contacts to get you membership to the melbourne club, you can still find overpriced drinks and mingle with poncy stuck up people hell-bent on spending someone else’s money to impress or pick up at the melbourne supper club. on the other hand; comfy sofas, more hours open than closed and there when you’re desperate to dull the pain on your wallet. Continue reading
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i never would have thought that a pub on the corner of flinders and swanston street would serve edible food. i mean, they’re next to mcdonalds and hungry jacks. you can meet the weirdo of your dreams. did i mention the picture of the naked chick upstairs? there’s a picture of a naked chick upstairs. there, i mentioned it. the naked chick is quite famous – but for some reason she has no body hair. who would have though that the brazilian was available in the 19th century. Continue reading
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staff bad, food good = i’m not happy. it has to be this way. at waves, staff very bad. you very bad staff! bad, bad staff! when you have to ask for food digging things and napkins after your food has arrived, that can’t be good. i don’t mind the slow pace over in wa but i just think it’d be nice to be able to eat the food put in front of me wihtout resorting to using my hands or stealing forks from the nearby tables. call me crazy. Continue reading
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i remember when trunk was just some chinese place. sure it was expensive (it’s on exhibition – what the fuck do you expect?). now, though, trunk has taken on a decidedly italian flavour to their chinese food. and there’s no more chinese food. craziest chinese restaurant i’ve ever been to. lets just say it’s italian and move on. Continue reading
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sounds like the beer. but nothing could be further from a slab of new south welsh beer. toofeys do seafood and they do it really well. in the same way squire’s loft do steaks, they have a token chicken dish. be prepared for a look of panic on the waiter’s face if you ask for the chicken. but sir, we do fish. that’s just padding. really, if you’re the sort of dickhead who goes to an italian restaurant and ask for the pasta ‘but no olive oil, and skip the garlic, and not too much tomato’, stay the fuck away. toofeys does seafood. go order the seafood, you fucking moron. otherwise, go to one of those all-you-can-eat buffet joints. you know the ones with the tables full of scary looking parents and retard kids high on food colouring and sugar. Continue reading
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i am a big fan of a good steak. just check out the squire’s loft and the grill room reviews. it’s not that i’m a big meat eater at all – i generally choose the vegetation option and don’t really cook meat at home – but fuck, the point is another step up in the steak stakes. they have their own meat supply (i think they have their own farm) so their beef is probably some of the best available. Continue reading
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i’m not sure i could think up a better name for a restaurant the serves yummy steak and awesome wine. while i do have half a cheek on the green bandwagon (and i appreciate that it takes a bazillion litres of water to make a mouthful of beef), i really really really like a good steak once in a while. come on, give me a break! i eat cardboard for a week afterward to make up for it. honestly. i thought that there was no better steak than squires loft. i still think it is one of the best i’ve ever had. everyone i have dragged along to squires (they always start out as unbelievers) has fallen in love with the steaks. but i was unprepared for the meat and wine company. despite being within smelling distance of a mcdonalds (who the fuck was in charge of leases in southbank?!)
i fell in love with the place. then i found out that, like squires, mawc has its roots in south africa. oh, those crazy south africans! i’d have to put squires and meat and wine on the same level. i don’t think i could choose between the two. if i had to differentiate (you can see i’ve been drinking a better vintage of wine) i’d say that the meat and wine company is the the girl who never swears and likes sex with candles lit. squires is like the girl who let’s you put your hand down her pants in the back row of the movies. both are good, at different times. don’t you like my analogies?
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we’re calling the grand our flood refuge, our island in the storm, our oasis, our le grande ile. going home one evening with traffic in all directions, i cracked the shits and parked near the grand. the plan was to wait until the traffic had died down and the road rage victims had been cleared away. Continue reading
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many years ago the graham hotel was a rundown workman’s pub complete with broken floorboards. you couldn’t get anything but vb beer and a few spirits. needless to say this delightful establishment did not remain. Continue reading
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it’s not like you’re likely to wander past the deanery one day and think ‘that place looks nice, i’ll drop in for some tea and scones’. bligh place is basically an gap between two building masquerading as an alley pretending to be a lane. it is small and unless you’re looking for it, you’re unlikely to see the deanery. but when you do find it, well, bring an empty stomach (try not to eat for a few days) and your biggest flashiest credit card. jeeves can stay in the car, though. Continue reading
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this is a happy story of good food and nice wine in gumdrop restaurant on lollypop lane. it truly was an enjoyable dining experience and if you don’t go, you’re stupid. the bridge restaurant is part of the bridge hotel. up front is all vb beer and sweaty blokes playing pool and watching the footy, a truly sublime pastime if you are a sweaty bloke who likes vb, playing pool and watching footy. at the back, the bridge restaurant is something else altogether. it even has a separate door so you don’t have to run the gauntlet past the sweaties. Continue reading
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hey all you dead cow loving people, steaks aren’t half bad at squires loft. of course you don’t have anything else to compare it to because you can have anything as long as it used to walk on four legs and moo contentedly to itself. if you want a steak whether it be ‘fillet-so-small-i-can-herdly-see-you’ to a t-bone the size of a house cat, squires have it. no small selection of squashed grape drink to go with your steak. piss off you chardonnay sipping yuppies. grr. Continue reading
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remember the caramel cafe review? well siblings is around the corner, owned by the same people and it does a very nice dinner. ‘siblings’ because he waits and she cooks – and there are cute pictures of them on the wall. as the name implies, the atmosphere is warm, intimate and feels a bit like home. (so long as your home has tea light candles and ‘siblings’ printed on the table cloth.) Continue reading
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from the waitress (english challenged and therefor fodder for my broken and harsh spanish) to the colourful interior, senyor parella should take a bow. excellent service, more wines than you could shake a brown paper bag at, and prices that surprise – my starter at 4 cats was more than most mains in senyor p’s place.
the menu came wrapped in the napkin, a souvenir for guests from out of town. nothing i could possibly complain about, i would stay at sp next time in barcelona if i could. recommendable and preferido – in any language. love the place, try it if you’re in town.
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fate drove us to odyssey. oysters, lamb, and barramundi kept us there. fate in the form of horizontal rain, a miserable evening in sydney, australia. i’ve been to the rocks before, had a $40 piece of fish (that was a little expensive) and an $18 gin and tonic. i know how things go at the rocks. but i’ve never had anything like odyssey’s wine tasting and food. did i mention the high-tech wine tasting dispenser, the smart cards, stainless steel tubes with flashing lights? there’s even a glass of 1996 grange for $180 if you care to find out what all the hubbub is about. wow! Continue reading
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