Tag Archives: steak

parkers steakhouse geelong – 2 shorts place geelong 3220 5221 8485

tucked away, down a side street, in an old bluestone building (used to house a blacksmith) is parkers. i could smell it two streets away and i should have known. steak was calling me. i’m not a big meat eater but when i do eat meat, i has to be very good. imagine my surprise at discovering parkers in geelong. then i saw the sign outside – squires loft. i was home!! in the culinary wasteland that is geelong, there exists a diamond.
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squires loft tooronga village – podium level shop 1 766 toorak road glen Iris 3146 9822 8880

there’s another squires loft, you ask? indeed! the same steaky-steak, winey-wine, and choclatly-chocolate dessert. anyone who’s read my review of squires loft (pick one, any one) knows that, once in a while, i like a piece of very excellent steak. i know meat is not the best for the environment but i only have meat twice a week so i have thoroughly justified it to myself.

and then i moved to within walking distance of the tooronga squires loft. feet …turning …into …squires …loft …powerless… to …resist! and it’s on the podium level – i’ve done some podium level dancing but this is different :)
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young and jackson – flinders street melbourne

i never would have thought that a pub on the corner of flinders and swanston street would serve edible food. i mean, they’re next to mcdonalds and hungry jacks. you can meet the weirdo of your dreams. did i mention the picture of the naked chick upstairs? there’s a picture of a naked chick upstairs. there, i mentioned it. the naked chick is quite famous – but for some reason she has no body hair. who would have though that the brazilian was available in the 19th century. Continue reading

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toofeys – 162 elgin street (cnr drummond street) carlton 9347 9838

sounds like the beer. but nothing could be further from a slab of new south welsh beer. toofeys do seafood and they do it really well. in the same way squire’s loft do steaks, they have a token chicken dish. be prepared for a look of panic on the waiter’s face if you ask for the chicken. but sir, we do fish. that’s just padding. really, if you’re the sort of dickhead who goes to an italian restaurant and ask for the pasta ‘but no olive oil, and skip the garlic, and not too much tomato’, stay the fuck away. toofeys does seafood. go order the seafood, you fucking moron. otherwise, go to one of those all-you-can-eat buffet joints. you know the ones with the tables full of scary looking parents and retard kids high on food colouring and sugar. Continue reading

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the point – aquatic drive albert park lake 9682 5566

i am a big fan of a good steak. just check out the squire’s loft and the grill room reviews. it’s not that i’m a big meat eater at all – i generally choose the vegetation option and don’t really cook meat at home – but fuck, the point is another step up in the steak stakes. they have their own meat supply (i think they have their own farm) so their beef is probably some of the best available. Continue reading

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the meat and wine company – queensbridge street southbank melbourne 9696 5333

i’m not sure i could think up a better name for a restaurant the serves yummy steak and awesome wine. while i do have half a cheek on the green bandwagon (and i appreciate that it takes a bazillion litres of water to make a mouthful of beef), i really really really like a good steak once in a while. come on, give me a break! i eat cardboard for a week afterward to make up for it. honestly. i thought that there was no better steak than squires loft. i still think it is one of the best i’ve ever had. everyone i have dragged along to squires (they always start out as unbelievers) has fallen in love with the steaks. but i was unprepared for the meat and wine company. despite being within smelling distance of a mcdonalds (who the fuck was in charge of leases in southbank?!)

i fell in love with the place. then i found out that, like squires, mawc has its roots in south africa. oh, those crazy south africans! i’d have to put squires and meat and wine on the same level. i don’t think i could choose between the two. if i had to differentiate (you can see i’ve been drinking a better vintage of wine) i’d say that the meat and wine company is the the girl who never swears and likes sex with candles lit. squires is like the girl who let’s you put your hand down her pants in the back row of the movies. both are good, at different times. don’t you like my analogies?

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the grand hotel – 335 burnley sreet richmond 03 9429 2530

we’re calling the grand our flood refuge, our island in the storm, our oasis, our le grande ile. going home one evening with traffic in all directions, i cracked the shits and parked near the grand. the plan was to wait until the traffic had died down and the road rage victims had been cleared away. Continue reading

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the deanery – 13 bligh place melbourne 9629 3000

it’s not like you’re likely to wander past the deanery one day and think ‘that place looks nice, i’ll drop in for some tea and scones’. bligh place is basically an gap between two building masquerading as an alley pretending to be a lane. it is small and unless you’re looking for it, you’re unlikely to see the deanery. but when you do find it, well, bring an empty stomach (try not to eat for a few days) and your biggest flashiest credit card. jeeves can stay in the car, though. Continue reading

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the bridge – bendigo

this is a happy story of good food and nice wine in gumdrop restaurant on lollypop lane. it truly was an enjoyable dining experience and if you don’t go, you’re stupid. the bridge restaurant is part of the bridge hotel. up front is all vb beer and sweaty blokes playing pool and watching the footy, a truly sublime pastime if you are a sweaty bloke who likes vb, playing pool and watching footy. at the back, the bridge restaurant is something else altogether. it even has a separate door so you don’t have to run the gauntlet past the sweaties. Continue reading

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squires loft south yarra – 166 toorak road south yarra 9824 0999

hey all you dead cow loving people, steaks aren’t half bad at squires loft. of course you don’t have anything else to compare it to because you can have anything as long as it used to walk on four legs and moo contentedly to itself. if you want a steak whether it be ‘fillet-so-small-i-can-herdly-see-you’ to a t-bone the size of a house cat, squires have it. no small selection of squashed grape drink to go with your steak. piss off you chardonnay sipping yuppies. grr. Continue reading

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siblings – 601 burwood road hawthorn 9819 5555

remember the caramel cafe review? well siblings is around the corner, owned by the same people and it does a very nice dinner. ‘siblings’ because he waits and she cooks – and there are cute pictures of them on the wall. as the name implies, the atmosphere is warm, intimate and feels a bit like home. (so long as your home has tea light candles and ‘siblings’ printed on the table cloth.) Continue reading

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odyssey – the rocks sydney australia (look it up)

fate drove us to odyssey. oysters, lamb, and barramundi kept us there. fate in the form of horizontal rain, a miserable evening in sydney, australia. i’ve been to the rocks before, had a $40 piece of fish (that was a little expensive) and an $18 gin and tonic. i know how things go at the rocks. but i’ve never had anything like odyssey’s wine tasting and food. did i mention the high-tech wine tasting dispenser, the smart cards, stainless steel tubes with flashing lights? there’s even a glass of 1996 grange for $180 if you care to find out what all the hubbub is about. wow! Continue reading

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home – 601 burwood road hawthorn 9819 5555

the last time we visited home it was called siblings and it was in the hands of the loud (and assumedly deaf) mark – we were intrigued.

home. dining room. old books. stuffed toys. a rocking chair. it was like going to granny’s place for dinner. except that granny had died the day before and while most of her stuff (mostly the privates and the unmentionables) had been quickly shoved into the skip out  back, bits and pieces remained. it gave home a homey feel, a lived-in atmosphere, an inviting and reassuring air about it. we were here to investigate. Continue reading

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squires loft – st kilda road towers 1 queens road melbourne 9863 7700

i know it takes a gazilion litres of water to make my tiny 350g steak. i know it’s not environmentally friendly farming for a country with so little water. i know that cows have faces (something about veggies not eating anything with a face). i know all that! but it’s just so good sometimes to have moo cow at the squires. i crave steak, you know, once every few weeks. can you greenies overlook this one teensy vice of mine? Continue reading

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grill room steakhouse – 535 little lonsdale street melbourne 9602 2228

yes, you’ve heard the name before. it’s an extension of the grill room in st kilda. wait, wouldn’t it just be easier to actually extend the grill room in st kilda? apparently not. you gotta open a whole new restaurant with the same ‘i will go down on you’ steaks and wines. actually i wouldn’t but if it came down to the crunch…well. i’m still totally confused about the links (or not) between squire’s loft and the grill room. opening a grill room one block from the squire probably answers that question. they are best of friends, right? Continue reading

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gills diner – gills alley melbourne 9670 7214

just try and find gills alley. i dare you. it’s not easy. and so not what you expect, either. alley is probably overselling the whole narrow laneway thing. and diner doesn’t come close to describing what is achieved at gills diner. if you imagine an old car repair shop with bakery cafe in the front, tables and chairs in front of an immense kitchen in the back and top class food and service, that would be gills. Continue reading

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forbes mill steakhouse – 206 north santa cruz avenue los gatos california (do you really need the phone number?)

i had a chance to sample steak on the other side of the pacific recently. the forbes mill steakhouse is located in a ‘nice part of town’ which immediately had me thinking of camberwell and the other silver-haired suburbs of melbourne. sure enough, they still had their christmas lights up on the street and it was just lovely. in a scary kind of way. Continue reading

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esposito@toofeys – 162 elgin street carlton 9347 9838

i’m back – i used to go to toofeys a lot a few years ago. it was a great place for fish, even better if someone else was paying. see our review from way back when. so when someone said to me recently ‘lets go to esposito@toofeys’ i thought – wanker!! what the fuck?! its not immediately clear who or what an esposito is and what they would be doing at toofeys. but, as i was not going to be parting with my hard earned cash, i thought, again, what the fuck. a different what the fuck than before, tho. Continue reading

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bar corvina – 157 fitzroy street st kilda 9537 0244

the food is too fancy-schmancy for this place to call itself a bar, but then again, the drinks were too bloody good for it to call itself a restaurant. suggesting a pre-dinner gin and tonic before we’d even sat down was a gratifying surprise, and when the drinks arrived, we had to award them two very enthusiastic thumbs up for the tall glasses, reasonable sized lemon (why do bars feel compelled to fill your glass up with fruit? probably the same reason mcdonalds fills your coke up with ice), and a straw for the girls but of course not for blokes. Continue reading

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the meat and wine company – queensbridge street southbank melbourne 03 9696 5333

i’m not sure i could think up a better name for a restaurant the serves yummy steak and awesome wine. while i do have half a cheek on the green bandwagon (and i appreciate that it takes a bazillion litres of water to make a mouthful of beef), i really really really like a good steak once in a while. come on, give me a break! i eat cardboard for a week afterward to make up for it. honestly. i thought that there was no better steak than squires loft. i still think it is one of the best i’ve ever had. everyone i have dragged along to squires (they always start out as unbelievers) has fallen in love with the steaks. but i was unprepared for the meat and wine company. Continue reading

1,004 total views, 1 views today