my ipad just tried to autocorrect menya to mental! ah, you clever little piece of aluminium and glass. trying to save me from myself. it happens a lot. but anyway, menya! synonymous for noodles or ramen in japanese (also donburi and gyoza). but mostly noodles! it’s not so easy to find in the city but it’s so worth the effort wandering around until we found it. again.
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what a crazy name! kuki tanuki?! like silius sodus or bigus dikus. eh, it’s joke name, sir. at least it’s not hard to remember :). anyway, i digress. kuki tanuki is a little japanese restaurant in erskineville in sydney. tucked away in erskineville village (where i like to spend a lot of my time with the best company in the world!), it’s open from 5pm until late, 6 nights a week.
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in a little town called sydney in a big country called straya, she searched. the prize? the best japanese food. the result? masu izakaya in the cbd. it’s only the best grill and sake bar we’ve ever found. actually, it’s probably best we don’t tell you how great it is because the next time we go there won’t be any room for us. yes, you should go to your substandard restaurants leaving masu’s place to us, fuck face.
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japanese food is just not meant to be ‘starter-followed-by-main-followed-by-dessert’. boring boring! it drives me nuts that so many cuisines change their menu to fit what they think we want. you do know the cow is still not eaten in india and the majority live on a mostly vegetarian diet, right? so why is there so much meat on an indian menu? it just makes no sense.
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is this the coolest restaurant on flinders lane? it may well be. we almost didn’t make it because it was three blocks from our pre-dinner drinks and i was ready to go anywhere that had dead stuff on plates (although plates aren’t really necessary either) when you walk in they first directed us to the bar which is downstairs. no, my good man, we’re here to sample your finest victuals. our waiter seemed happy that we had come for the food and we were happy that he could get joy from us just being there. there’s love all around… Continue reading
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i’m serious. you will never find it. every time i go looking for it, i have to wander up and down flinders lane a few times muttering to myself. i get stranger looks (stranger than i usually get) and sometime even a few coins out of sympathy. yes, i could write down the address and punch it into my iphone. yes, i could. i can’t think of any reason why i don’t. it would make the process of finding yuu much easier and make me look less like an asylum escapee. taking it on board, k? Continue reading
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ringwood is not the place i think of first when someone says ‘let’s do japanese’. in fact it’s not even second. i know! hard to believe. it’s way down the list. way down. just how far? far. but suishaya does have quite a lot going for it and it has such a cute little waterwheel (that’s what suishaya means) in a pond just inside the door. ahem, fucking nice pond, i mean. Continue reading
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like ditching your girlfriend for the big tits and tight ass at the bar who’s had just about enough drink to take you home and shag you within an inch of your life, we stood kunis up when a nihonbashi zen showed us its cleavage. Continue reading
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they say it is the mark of a good ethnic restaurant when the majority of diners are from that ethnic background. i say you’re a tosser if you go around making comments like that. but realistically the mark of a good ethnic restaurant is if the food is tasty and there is some level of service above a grunt from the waiter and your meal being hurled directly from the kitchen. but hey, you’re all entitled to my balanced and objective opinion. Continue reading
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we like the door. it’s calming. and not wanky. like so many other places in south yarra. especially near chapel street. we were looking for a little cosy eatery with a fire, sofas, etc so the choice of this little japanese restaurant made no sense whatsoever. a complete surprise for you and i. now, i speak japanese to a degree so it’s good to find a restaurant that has genuine japanese staff, not vietnamese, chinese, malaysian and korean waiters because the owners think that australians are too stupid to tell the difference. we can tell, you assholes. Continue reading
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i’ve lived and worked in japan in past lives so i have a reasonable clue when it comes to japanese food. while some restaurants try to take their cuisine and run it through the aussie blender (yoowan’aneggontop?), the good ones only try to be who they are. japanese food was never made to be served in the entre – main – dessert format. they have distinct food types like raw fish, noodles, rice dishes, hot-pots and nabe dishes (also known as just chuck-it-all-in-the-pot dishes). when you try to ‘entre-main’ it (yes i made a new verb), it just doesn’t work. Continue reading
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this place has got to be the hungry jacks of japanese food. only jack is kosta and we ain’t hungry for it any more. the food is made by someone who has read about japanese food but reckons that 122 million japanese and 5000 years of culture can be improved upon. maybe he saw pearl harbour… Continue reading
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over attentive waiters. they kept trying to take our order, fill our wine glasses or take the empties away. if you’re used to being ignored, this is going to really get your goat. it will give you the shits. if, on the other hand, you want to run in, order now, eat without breathing and get out, this is your nirvana. it’s a kind of mcdonalds experience. Continue reading
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chocolate buddha stands out in my mind as a bit of a paradox. the furniture and ambience is all ‘communal this’ and ‘simplify that, man!’ but the prices tell a different story. (b)wankers and corp-exec-wannabes powering through their lunches so they can get back to the office and do some more useless desk driving. dinner time is a bit better but only because the wankers are at trust bar, bobby mcgees or de biers. all classy places. Continue reading
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how many restaurants in melbourne send food past you on a conveyor belt from which you can pick an choose as you desire? while it might sound like the ultimate in fast food tackiness, this is how it is done in japan, so it is actually kulchral and you can feel good about it. how it works is that the food comes out on different coloured plates, depending on how much each costs. unless you can push the plates onto someone else’s pile they add them all up when you pay your bill. the conveyor continually sends its culinary delights past your nose and watering mouth so it could be easy to ring up a substantial bill without actually ordering anything. Continue reading
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