Tag Archives: fish

izakaya jiro – 830 glenferrie road hawthorn 03 9818 7163

japanese food is just not meant to be ‘starter-followed-by-main-followed-by-dessert’. boring boring! it drives me nuts that so many cuisines change their menu to fit what they think we want. you do know the cow is still not eaten in india and the majority live on a mostly vegetarian diet, right? so why is there so much meat on an indian menu? it just makes no sense.
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waves – margaret river western australia (you’ll see it…)

staff bad, food good = i’m not happy. it has to be this way. at waves, staff very bad. you very bad staff! bad, bad staff! when you have to ask for food digging things and napkins after your food has arrived, that can’t be good. i don’t mind the slow pace over in wa but i just think it’d be nice to be able to eat the food put in front of me wihtout resorting to using my hands or stealing forks from the nearby tables. call me crazy. Continue reading

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toofeys – 162 elgin street (cnr drummond street) carlton 9347 9838

sounds like the beer. but nothing could be further from a slab of new south welsh beer. toofeys do seafood and they do it really well. in the same way squire’s loft do steaks, they have a token chicken dish. be prepared for a look of panic on the waiter’s face if you ask for the chicken. but sir, we do fish. that’s just padding. really, if you’re the sort of dickhead who goes to an italian restaurant and ask for the pasta ‘but no olive oil, and skip the garlic, and not too much tomato’, stay the fuck away. toofeys does seafood. go order the seafood, you fucking moron. otherwise, go to one of those all-you-can-eat buffet joints. you know the ones with the tables full of scary looking parents and retard kids high on food colouring and sugar. Continue reading

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the grand hotel – 335 burnley sreet richmond 03 9429 2530

we’re calling the grand our flood refuge, our island in the storm, our oasis, our le grande ile. going home one evening with traffic in all directions, i cracked the shits and parked near the grand. the plan was to wait until the traffic had died down and the road rage victims had been cleared away. Continue reading

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the bridge – bendigo

this is a happy story of good food and nice wine in gumdrop restaurant on lollypop lane. it truly was an enjoyable dining experience and if you don’t go, you’re stupid. the bridge restaurant is part of the bridge hotel. up front is all vb beer and sweaty blokes playing pool and watching the footy, a truly sublime pastime if you are a sweaty bloke who likes vb, playing pool and watching footy. at the back, the bridge restaurant is something else altogether. it even has a separate door so you don’t have to run the gauntlet past the sweaties. Continue reading

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movida next door – find movida (1 hosier lane melbourne 9663 3038) and it’s, well, next door

here’s a thought. if you pay waiters and staff well, you get good food and good service and good waiters will want to join your restaurant. so you get good staff and waiters, and so on and so forth. it’s not rocket surgery. it’s quite obvious that the manager of movida has worked out this tricky and complex equation. the result? what seems like almost instant success. the kitchen staff are relaxed and professional, the bar staff are efficient and snappy, and the floor staff attentive and friendly. even for a brand new joint, movida feels like everyone working there are part of a well-worn family. Continue reading

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lorne pier seafood restaurant – lorne (duh) 5289 1119

for me summer in lorne is all knotted sweaters and pastels. i mean there are some great, down-to-earth eating places but the general feel of the place is all bmw, 2.5 kids and everything in shades of yellow, blue and pink. winter however is a different story. only the hardiest holidayers make the effort. bless their volvo sports utility vehicles. Continue reading

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home – 601 burwood road hawthorn 9819 5555

the last time we visited home it was called siblings and it was in the hands of the loud (and assumedly deaf) mark – we were intrigued.

home. dining room. old books. stuffed toys. a rocking chair. it was like going to granny’s place for dinner. except that granny had died the day before and while most of her stuff (mostly the privates and the unmentionables) had been quickly shoved into the skip out  back, bits and pieces remained. it gave home a homey feel, a lived-in atmosphere, an inviting and reassuring air about it. we were here to investigate. Continue reading

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ginters bar and restaurant – 5 rae street fitzroy north 9489 1974

you can always have fish. even if you are a pesca ova lacto vegetarian. you want me to say all that again? i don’t think so. but it’s nice to know that the world doesn’t revolve totally around mcdonalds or the nearest steakhouse. don’t get me wrong. i love a thick steak as much as the next bovinus carnivarian. it’s just once in a while, a nice piece of fish just hits the spot. Continue reading

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garfish – 2/21 broughton street kirribilli nsw 9922 4322

garfish is not exactly a family restaurant. poised (elegant places poise, dodgy places squat) on broughton street in kirribilli they pride themselves on style and fine food. bet you thought that was the start of a wanker’s review…no chance of that. but they do take care of little people with custom desserts and kiddy meals. and you gotta respect that especially if it pisses off the hoity-toity diners at the next table. Continue reading

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fisherman’s wharf – 70 the esplanade paynesville 5156 0366

if you ever find yourself in this neck of the woods, be afraid. be very afraid. rich men with rich women dragging snot-nosed rich kids around so they can take the powerboat across 100 metres of water to their favourite eatery. it’s not as bad as that. they’re not all rich, just wish they were. fisherman’s wharf is poised on the bank of the stretch of water between the main land and raymond island. a ferry, costing about $15 will take you and your car across the choppy and perilous water (an arduous 90 second journey) so that you can sit with your sweater tied around your shoulders and drink wanky drinks. Continue reading

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fish house – 541 chapel street south yarra 9827 4418

quite the most comprehensive business card i have ever seen – opening times, car parks nearby, web site. a little anal? yup. but i can’t fault the fish house for food and let’s face it, that’s what we’re here for. like oysters? sooooo good! wanna whole fish to yourself? you betcha! Continue reading

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