Tag Archives: chocolate

the point – aquatic drive albert park lake 9682 5566

i am a big fan of a good steak. just check out the squire’s loft and the grill room reviews. it’s not that i’m a big meat eater at all – i generally choose the vegetation option and don’t really cook meat at home – but fuck, the point is another step up in the steak stakes. they have their own meat supply (i think they have their own farm) so their beef is probably some of the best available. Continue reading

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squires loft south yarra – 166 toorak road south yarra 9824 0999

hey all you dead cow loving people, steaks aren’t half bad at squires loft. of course you don’t have anything else to compare it to because you can have anything as long as it used to walk on four legs and moo contentedly to itself. if you want a steak whether it be ‘fillet-so-small-i-can-herdly-see-you’ to a t-bone the size of a house cat, squires have it. no small selection of squashed grape drink to go with your steak. piss off you chardonnay sipping yuppies. grr. Continue reading

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lulo bar de vino – 798 glenferrie road hawthorn 9818 8321

lets face it, describing themselves as a ‘bar de vino’ (who here speaks spanish, i’m not quite sure what that means) is a strong enticement to visit lulo. and i do like a business that gives hours like ‘5.30pm to late’. it leaves the night open to all kinds of possibilities. like vino. esta mui importante, no? it’s always been packed around 9 (a common hour for dinner in spain) so we went much earlier to make sure we got a table. Continue reading

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squires loft – st kilda road towers 1 queens road melbourne 9863 7700

i know it takes a gazilion litres of water to make my tiny 350g steak. i know it’s not environmentally friendly farming for a country with so little water. i know that cows have faces (something about veggies not eating anything with a face). i know all that! but it’s just so good sometimes to have moo cow at the squires. i crave steak, you know, once every few weeks. can you greenies overlook this one teensy vice of mine? Continue reading

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gills diner – gills alley melbourne 9670 7214

just try and find gills alley. i dare you. it’s not easy. and so not what you expect, either. alley is probably overselling the whole narrow laneway thing. and diner doesn’t come close to describing what is achieved at gills diner. if you imagine an old car repair shop with bakery cafe in the front, tables and chairs in front of an immense kitchen in the back and top class food and service, that would be gills. Continue reading

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fairways – 55 golf house lane lancefield 5429 1903

everyone in the macedon hospitality industry showers at the same time. how do we know this? we called most of them in search of a restaurant that was open on a friday night and got them out of the shower. the water pressure sure must take a beating around 6.45pm. they were all getting ready to go out to dinner when they should have been in their restaurants serving us, godammit. it was the turn of champions restaurant at fairways to host the local restaurant industry tonight so we, by default, were eating at fairways, like it or not. despite telstra’s best efforts to misdirect us and send us to beaconsfield sportswear, we finally got through to lynne (just getting out of the shower) and informed her that we’d like a table in three minutes. she asked us to drive slowly so that she could finish her shower and make herself decent. Continue reading

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ezards at adelphi – 187 flinders lane melbourne 9639 6811

sweet and salty chocolate balls. sounds like a menu item from felicity’s fuck house. mai, non. they are just about the best after-dinner sweets i have ever had. i will eat dinner there just to get the choc knobs. there’s a very japanese flavour to the food here. sure you can get a steak done very excellently, but why would you when you can have an oyster shooter. it’s an oyster in a sweet sake-based shooter with wasabi. and you shoot it. hence the name. very original, i thought. Continue reading

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box cafe restaurant – 189 collins street melbourne 9663 0411

it’s a bit like a box. not much wider than your average bathroom but probably much funkier. unless you live in a converted warehouse in abbotsford in which case you’re a pretentious wanker so you can fuck off. but we’re getting off the point here. box is pretty schwik. because it has that minimalist look and very arty furniture, you’d expect the waiters to be an ‘i’m better than you’ dickhead. but they’re not – quite the opposite in fact. they know how to wait, how to serve, how to pour wine. the one who served us even had a great sense of humour. going on a bit about the staff but we really liked them. Continue reading

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belgian beer cafe bluestone – 557 st kilda rd melbourne 03 9529 2899

and i thought australia was the only place that claimed beer and chips as a national dish. probably a couple of hundred years before some foreign monk made a wrong turn at new guinea and found himself in sydney. the belgians were getting on the piss complimented by that other great food group, deep fried chipped potatoes. Continue reading

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