the boardwalk – lake weeroona bendigo

i have no idea why i keep going back. this is forehead-thumping stuff. why why why??! maybe it’s just because it’s too easy to deviate from the walking path around the lake and by all accounts it should be a great place for a super-muga-frappaccino-latte. or more likely, it’s because it’s too much fun to watch tourists waiting at the ‘wait to be seated’ sign. if you’ve ever been to the boardwalk you’ll know that that leads to many hours of amusement. Continue reading

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strozzi ristorante caffeteria – ground floor 333 collins street melbourne 9629 4844

ahhh… strozzi. it’s been a good few years since i sat here every morning with my ciabatta toast and macchiato, but i remember the days fondly. now here’s a place that hasn’t really changed that much. they still do very good mood lighting and coffee. yes they do food and stuff, but i’ve never really gone past the coffee. strozzi is located at the bottom of that beautiful building in collins st – i worked there for all of three months and loved walking into work every day. Continue reading

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little blue cafe – st kilda pier st kilda

the full menu is on, it’s tapas only, it’s on again, off again…will you make up your fucking mind. little blue (as i like to call it) is jammed in behind the rebuilt st kilda pier kiosk. now i’m not an architect (no really, and i wouldn’t tell you anyway in case you tried to track me down) but why in the hell would you spend a bunch of money rebuilding the weatherboard kiosk that burned down three years ago and then shove a steel and glass cafe right behind it? Continue reading

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liquid bar cafe lounge – 50 new quay promenade docklands 9642 4242

there must be a rip in the space-time continuum somewhere behind the doors to the kitchen – it cannot take that long to make anything. and when the food does eventually emerge tortoise like from the kitchen there isn’t all that much of it anyway, unless you’re talking about the toast. you couldn’t call it a slice, it goes way beyond a single piece, even a slab is selling the size of this thing a bit short. landmass might come close… each one is about the size of tasmania, with a couple of tiny eggs perched on top and some green garnish, a sort of easter island homage at breakfast. and the coffee isn’t really flash. Continue reading

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kanteen – 154 alexandra avenue south yarra 9827 0488

i so wanted to like this fucking place. never a good sentence to start with. it just really got on my tits after a while. ok they have good, even great coffee. but a little thing called service wouldn’t go amiss. it’s always the same, though, isn’t it. have a great idea – pay crap wages. why do it? why not do it right? Continue reading

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jeremy’s hardware cafe – hardware lane melbourne (if you don’t know where hardware lane is, you suck!)

so i’m on a quest for the holy grail a weekend breakfast in melbourne’s cbd, that is. after some dreadful suggestions from friends and fellow connoisseurs (block arcade? please! that place couldn’t serve breakfast if it was on a platter with a try-hard herb garnish) i was quite hopeful about hardware lane. so it was with a heart full of optimism that i approached jeremy’s hardware cafe. Continue reading

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isa brown – 797 glenferrie road hawthorn 9818 8212

i can’t believe i haven’t written about isa brown before now. i’ve had plenty of time and plenty of wine there. they have it all – open fire, yellow pvc sofa, good coffee. don’t be put off by the lego sign outside. it isn’t some crazy miniature lego world with lego freaks that i dreamed about when i was 12. what? oh, yeah, isa brown. Continue reading

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gordons – shop 4 the causeway 306 little collins street 9663 5103

apparently the carbonara is off the menu. the cook (chef on back of shirt) is sick of it and so, it appears, are you. not by choice but she has to watch her figure. you do have to eat the passion fruit and white chocolate muffins on your own or…well, it’s bad ok. the waiter/terrier needs an attention span, any will do just more than absolute zero. and some shampoo. calamari salad rocks da house. well, kinda gives it a crispy stare. stay away from the special pizza. it’s what was left over from all the other stuff they couldn’t sell yesterday. Continue reading

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glenferrie tramstop cafe – 538 glenferrie road hawthorn 9819 3611

this place is really only good if you need a coffee whilst you are waiting for your washing next door. they’re happy to give you change too, and you don’t even have to buy anything. the waitress here is very cute and apparently believes in karma. i guess i’ve got some good stuff coming to me at some point because i walked back in to pay for my coffee after she forgot to charge me. Continue reading

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cream – canberra somewhere, you’ll find it, it’s not a big place

i have no idea where to go in our nation’s capital. that sounds so funny – our nation’s capital. it’s very american, patriotic, nationalistic. french. but i digress. this has nothing to do with france or french people or even the riots that firm the basis of french culture and society. i digress my disgression? perhaps. need to stay on message, move forward, stay focussed. i am in, after all, our nation’s capital. where was i? oh yes, cream. Continue reading

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chapel bakery and cafe – glenferrie road hawthorn

new chapel bakery

well, clearly a lot of other people thought the same. the new new owner has reintroduced the artisan breads and has put in a kitchen (i’m reliably informed). very good to hear! the old old chapel was all about the bread and good coffee and i’m glad to see the new new chapel owner gets that. kudos to you! actually, my daughter recently bought some delectable cakes for a birthday celebration – very nice. give chapel a try again and buy some bread. actually, you know what? leave all the bread for me! Continue reading

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caramel cafe – glenferrie road hawthorn

when you drop the menu in your favourite place, walk across the road to a new joint that’s just opened…and don’t regret it for a moment…either the old favourite is slipping or the new place rocks. in this case, it’s a little of both. and i regret the move not at all. Continue reading

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cafe on auburn – 148 auburn road hawthorn 9819 2277

after the awful (and very creepy) experience at auburn village deli, we headed (or ran) back up auburn road to the cafe. the cafe on auburn. which cafe? the one on auburn. opening on sunday only recently, cafe provides a breakfast alternative to the deli. mind you, i reckon a morgue on a slow day would be a better alternative to the deli. Continue reading

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cafe blac – 707 glenferrie road hawthorn 9818 8965

well, times change, people move on, a bird in the hand, etc, etc. in short, cafe blac has turned around. it’s owned by a couple who know what they’re doing. out with the old, in with the new. my coffee is coffee-ish, my service service-ish. all is as it should be. i can’t vouch for the brekkies but coffee is nicey nice and staff are smiley smiley. Continue reading

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babble bar & cafe – 4 izett street prahran 9510 6464

i’ve been there before of course, but today it was just so good, it deserved a review. the staff are good (massage, anyone?) and know what they’re on about, even if they are of indeterminate heritage and/or sexuality and are wearing strange make up. could it be possible they were all on drugs? even if they were, there was not one dish dropped, and not one coffee spilt the whole time we were there – i was looking. Continue reading

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