Category Archives: pubs

hard core drinking holes. i mean, these places are usually darker, grungier, and, well, pubby.

the skinny dog hotel – 155 high street kew 9853 8023

i can’t believe that no one has thought to review the skinny dog before now. perhaps it has something to do with bigmouth not even knowing where it is… but seriously, a classic pub if ever there was one. it has recently gone the way of all pubs and been renovated, so it now has a fantastic beer garden. but, look closely through the cracks in the facade (or behind the pillar to the table of drunken quasi-respectable businessmen) and you will find an essence of the original dodginess that makes the dog what it is. of course, if it’s real dodginess you’re after- just go down the road to the clifton hill- i’m sure they’ll be happy to oblige. Continue reading

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pj o’briens – ground floor southgate arts and leisure precinct southbank 9686 5011

to be sure, the luck of the oirish can be found in dis fione establishment. if you have an irish accent you’ll be hired here. they don’t really mind if you don’t have any hospitality experience, know how to pour a guinness or have the serving skills of an irritated hippopotomus as long as you have the accent. test it out if you don’t believe me – dare you to test out if your irish accent is as good sober as your friends tell you it is when you are all drunk and go for a job here. we might even create a hall of fame for you if you can prove it. Continue reading

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the red eagle hotel – 111 victoria avenue albert park 9699 9744

i can really only talk about this place from a bloke’s view point. maybe it’s a smorgasbord of hot flesh for the babes. try as i might, i can’t put myself in their shoes and see that. you could always email us a let us know. frankly, i really don’t give a fuck. this is my review and i’ll say whatever i bloody well want. Continue reading

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gunn island brew bar – 102 canterbury road middle park

so the middle park hotel isn’t good enough for these lads; they had to give it some fancy name that no-one remembers. and brew bar, please.

and here’s a tip. bar furniture should be comfortable to sit in and be consist of, oh, i don’t know, wood or cushions or something. not plastic chairs and some table your mom and dad probably had in their first apartment. you know, the one they used to have sex on before you came along and ruined it all. too much info? Continue reading

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gpo – (bendigo somewhere, main street i think, some pale mall place, i don’t know, i was quite drunk by then so blah blah)

they’ve never heard of an espresso martini. mind you, i’d never heard of one until recently but thought the idea of caffeine and alcohol in the same drink was a stroke of genius. even without that knowledge they had a pretty good crack at it and managed to knock up something closely resembling said martini. Continue reading

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the grand hotel – 335 burnley sreet richmond 03 9429 2530

we’re calling the grand our flood refuge, our island in the storm, our oasis, our le grande ile. going home one evening with traffic in all directions, i cracked the shits and parked near the grand. the plan was to wait until the traffic had died down and the road rage victims had been cleared away. Continue reading

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