tartine – 635 mascot road mascot 02 9700 9847

there’s nothing in mascot, at least nothing that has nothing to do with planes and airports and travel. at least that’s what we thought. but on one of our sunny lunchtime walks we stumbled across tartine. i think the thing that caught our eye first was the tricycle, the wheel chair and the chaise longue (or however you spell it) arrayed around a coffee table with building blocks to keep me amused for hours. weird furniture – better take a look.
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menya noodle shop 2 1 market street sydney 02 9267 4249

my ipad just tried to autocorrect menya to mental! ah, you clever little piece of aluminium and glass. trying to save me from myself. it happens a lot. but anyway, menya! synonymous for noodles or ramen in japanese (also donburi and gyoza). but mostly noodles! it’s not so easy to find in the city but it’s so worth the effort wandering around until we found it. again.
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kuki tanuki – 61 erskineville road erskineville 02 8084 7438

what a crazy name! kuki tanuki?! like silius sodus or bigus dikus. eh, it’s joke name, sir. at least it’s not hard to remember :). anyway, i digress. kuki tanuki is a little japanese restaurant in erskineville in sydney. tucked away in erskineville village (where i like to spend a lot of my time with the best company in the world!), it’s open from 5pm until late, 6 nights a week.
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picknick cafe 124 hawthorn road caulfield north +61 3 9523 8703

you know when you find a new cafe and it looks so great and you want it to be so great. but often it’s all smoke and mirrors. picknick is so great. so great. pickinick is david’s (second name not yet known) new place, only open for about three weeks. it’s funky and delicious. and that’s just the furniture – apparently all made especially for picknick. nicey nice.
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movida sydney – 50 holt street (cnr gladstone street) surry hills +61 2 8964 7642

as good as movida in melbourne (yeah, never thought i’d say that), is movida sydney. same menu, same service, same ambiance. of course, we brought a bit of our own ambiance with us – i’m sure we pissed a number of people off with our kissing and touching but, well, screw you all.
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masu izakaya shop b1 35-39 liverpool street sydney 02 9261 3011

in a little town called sydney in a big country called straya, she searched. the prize? the best japanese food. the result? masu izakaya in the cbd. it’s only the best grill and sake bar we’ve ever found. actually, it’s probably best we don’t tell you how great it is because the next time we go there won’t be any room for us. yes, you should go to your substandard restaurants leaving masu’s place to us, fuck face.
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dr jekyll 107 grey street st kilda 3182 03 9525 5999

ham or bacon? bacon or ham? hmmmm, i just don’t know which to choose!! turns out either one is delicious. shaved ham cooked like bacon, shaved bacon cooked like, well, bacon. yum. just, yum. i had the eggs benny with ham (there was an option to have trout but i just couldn’t get my head around that) and my cohort had scrambled eggs with bacon. words fail me… i don’t remember chewing. i think it’s breakfast all day, too, so another feather in their cap for that one.
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newmarket inkerman street st kilda

i will literally kill for their delicious pork ribs. yes, yes, i know we should all be vegetarian because meat wastes too many resources that we don’t have, future generations, think of the children… but. pork ribs. pork. ribs. well, that’s all i got, really. why am i banging on about pork ribs? newmarket has them. slow cooked, in spicy sauce. where’s my gun?

and if pork ribs (seeing pending killing spree note warning above) were not enough, how about a slow roasted leg of lamb? or some spicy sliced chorizo with peppers? or fresh quesadillas? how about them indeed?! took about 15 minutes flat to polish the lot off. curse their deliciousnessess!
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izakaya jiro – 830 glenferrie road hawthorn 03 9818 7163

japanese food is just not meant to be ‘starter-followed-by-main-followed-by-dessert’. boring boring! it drives me nuts that so many cuisines change their menu to fit what they think we want. you do know the cow is still not eaten in india and the majority live on a mostly vegetarian diet, right? so why is there so much meat on an indian menu? it just makes no sense.
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porgie and mr jones – auburn road hawthorn

i can’t believe i haven’t written about porgies before. a curious cafe name, admittedly, but a breakfast that’s second to very few and near the top of my list when a friend says “where shall we meet for breakkie?” (yes, i know it’s brekkie). it’s not all lollipops and gumdrops but the downsides must be insignificant because i keep going back.

first, the good shit. whenever we get a great brekkie there’s always a question that springs to mind. this is so good, how is it that so many paces can screw up eggs on toast?!! it’s not rocket surgery so why why why are there so many mediocre breakfasts on offer.
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parkers steakhouse geelong – 2 shorts place geelong 3220 5221 8485

tucked away, down a side street, in an old bluestone building (used to house a blacksmith) is parkers. i could smell it two streets away and i should have known. steak was calling me. i’m not a big meat eater but when i do eat meat, i has to be very good. imagine my surprise at discovering parkers in geelong. then i saw the sign outside – squires loft. i was home!! in the culinary wasteland that is geelong, there exists a diamond.
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bakers wife – 414 burke road camberwell 9809 1133

i’m always very excited when a new cafe opens within walking distance. there’s a dearth of good breakfast cafes in this area (tip o’ my hat to porgy and mr jones) – hence the excitement. i’d describe the decor as rustic/industrial/funky – really well done. there’s a mural on the main wall that took 15 hours to paint – you can find it on youtube. go nuts.
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squires loft tooronga village – podium level shop 1 766 toorak road glen Iris 3146 9822 8880

there’s another squires loft, you ask? indeed! the same steaky-steak, winey-wine, and choclatly-chocolate dessert. anyone who’s read my review of squires loft (pick one, any one) knows that, once in a while, i like a piece of very excellent steak. i know meat is not the best for the environment but i only have meat twice a week so i have thoroughly justified it to myself.

and then i moved to within walking distance of the tooronga squires loft. feet …turning …into …squires …loft …powerless… to …resist! and it’s on the podium level – i’ve done some podium level dancing but this is different :)
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le triskel – hardware lane melbourne 0466 406 404

ever wanted to practice your high school french in the comfort of your own city? now you can – at creperie le triskel. in fact, it’s required. you have to order in french. with your best french accent. at least they give you a sign over the register so that if you’re really desperate, you can read it. jeh voodray oon crepe ow caramel ay un cafe, sil vus plays. pretty fucking slick, eh?
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velvet bar – 331 bay street port melbourne 9645 1080

if you close your eyes and think of a bar called velvet, you can probably see velour couches, darkened corners and cigars next to the fire. if, on the other hand, you actually go there you find your basic cafe with your basic tables, chairs and double decaf-mocha-frappa-ccinos. it is of course part of the new port melbourne with every try-hard double income, no kids couple running around having fun fun fun. Continue reading

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veludo – 175 acland street st kilda 9534 4456

look, i’ve heard good things about this place, but when i went it was supremely crap. cold breakfast does nothing for me- especially when we’re the only people in the place. at least we got to hog the fire. the coffee might have been good, but only in comparison to the shitty breakfast. i guess they get a credit point for being open early when everything else was closed. decor’s nice and i like the wall of bottles. i just hope they’re all firmly secured, eh?

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the comfortable chair – 98 lygon street brunswick east 9387 1246

as you probably know i am partial to the cafes, restaurants and other eateries that offer breakfast all day. my feelings are if i want to have poached eggs and toast at four in the afternoon, i damn well will. so my saturday afternoons are usually spent either bitching about some place that doesn’t serve breakfast whenever i want it, or heaping praise on a new cafe or restaurant that does. this is just so with the comfortable chair – yeah it sounds like a monty python sketch. grow up! Continue reading

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